You probably hate my bangs now.
And the new health nut I've become.
The late hours I work,
The amount of coffee I still over-drink,
The amount of money I still over-spend.
That I'm working three jobs again,
And that there's still things I regret.
I hate how much I still bring you up.
How much I check in on you,
How I still want to be just friends.
How I can't watch Les Mis.
How it took me so long to not feel like a monster,
For breaking your tender heart.
I hate that my password still has your name in it.
That I gave back your oversized sweatshirt.
That memories we had are still vivid pictures in my mind.
The pieces of myself I gave to you,
the alleys of my history I let you walk down.
I know I would do it all over again -
just to learn the things I learned.
I just wish it didn't hurt you so much.
That those songs on the radio didn't remind me of you.
I wish that I didn't hurt...
but then I would have learned nothing at all.
