-After four years of dorm/apartment
life, and three months of living in another country...I'm now living
at home...with my parents.
-After four and a half years of hair
pulling work to obtain my degree in Middle Childhood Education, I've
finally concluded that teaching...is not for me.
-After collecting info and crunching
the numbers, I have more college debt than I anticipated...and I
start paying in June.
Add that to the fact that I'm not
entirely sure what I want to do, besides move to Miami Beach, I've
suddenly became a smidgen stressed. It seems that after four years
of loving the independence and endless opportunities of college life,
and my latest experience on my own in Costa Rica, I have had a
serious set back. Suddenly, I'm sitting alone in my freezing,
jam-packed room, with a part time (what my dad refers to as “fake”)
mall job, debt up to my eyeballs, and what feels like ceaseless
pressure from all sides to “figure things out.”
I'm stuck.
Most of the time, when we're stuck, we
look to others for encouragement. We need reassurance of “I've
totally been there,” or “Everyone goes through this.” After
several wise and reassuring words, we realize, although encouraged,
we still lack the power to instantaneously change our current
situation.
At this point – I have a verse I
always turn to. Usually it's after I've tried to figure out and
accomplish something completely on my own, failed completely, or have finally been humbled enough to admit defeat. It's underlined and
highlighted in my Bible, you know the ones.
2 Corinthians 12:9
“But he said to me, 'My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so
that Christ's power may rest on me.”
It makes me want to scream, “I'm
WEAK!” right here in my quaint little hometown coffee shop as I
write this. Because, when I am weak, his power is perfect.
All this to say, I am learning to be
content. I'm frustrated with always waiting for the next stage of
life to begin. First we say, “I just want to finish High School”
then, “Life will be so much better when I'm done with college”
next, “I'll really be able to relax when I start my career” and
of course, “When I get married, my life will be perfect” (which
is maybe the most dangerous one of all).
So, these facts remain:
God always knew I would get my degree
and not want to teach. He knew I would be living at home, with
little direction and lots of dreams. He wanted me to go to
Cedarville University, and he will help me pay it off. He knows I
love working at Forever 21, and it's right now, and it's not fake
(cough, dad). He makes me strong. He is my joy.
So to all you
recently-graduated-working-a-fake-job-waiting-for-the-next-step-payments-pending-big
dreamers reading this, I wish you contentment. Stop waiting for the
adventure to begin...because it's already started.
Much Love,
From an adventure living, job hunting little darling
